A Season of Singleness

It's strange when you start getting old enough where your friends are getting married (and some of the eager ones are even having kids).

Initially, there's that "Wow, seriously? But only OLD people get married!" reaction. Then you realize you ARE that old.

Oh----right. Dang.

Then there's that second reaction: The pressure and slight fear you'll be the oddball left with no one, and will forever have to endure the annoying (albeit well-intentioned) comments of, "Awww, Lindsey! We just have to find YOU someone!"

Thank you. I wasn't already painfully aware that I'm single.

But seriously, this isn't a post where I confess how I'm anxiously waiting, reading scores of bridal magazines and watching every bridal show, and wondering if every guy I meet could be "the One." Truthfully, I've never been that girl, and I don't intend to start.

Really, this post is about a recent revelation I feel God gave me. I've felt for awhile that I'm probably going to be single (or at least unmarried) for longer than most of my friends, and I was having trouble accepting it.

I was actually thanking God (half-heartedly, I'll admit) for this strange gift, because as a single person, I'm in a unique position to serve and be used by Him with a flexibility I won't have once I'm married. I think He wasn't satisfied with me just thanking Him for what I know "will be good for me in the long run," and He saw fit to share this insight with me:

"Lindsey, for everything there is a season (Ecc. 3:1). Enjoy each season of your life for what it is, so when the next season of your life rolls around, you will have no regrets. You will never be able to return to the life of a single woman once you're married, and if you spend all your time as a single person wishing you were married, by the time you ARE married you'll find yourself wishing you would have spent your 'single' time doing the things you can never do again. Enjoy each season for what it has to offer, so when you're married, you won't feel bitter toward the constraints that naturally come from being in a marriage."

It was an incredible thing to realize, and not only did it give me peace, it gave me excitement. What kind of amazing experiences does God have in store? I told Him I was game, and that we should definitely go on an adventure, just the two of us.

I've wondered what people meant when they said that He is the husband to the single, but now I understand. Of course there are things I look forward to sharing with an earthly husband, but the thought of spending time with Him definitely fills a part of the desire to be close to someone who knows you completely, and loves you for everything you are (and are not).

Do I still want to find someone? Absolutely. Do I think I won't at least date while I'm waiting for the right guy? Yeah, it's possible. Does that HAVE to happen? No. As weird as this might sound, I'm really OK with this situation right now, and I can unreservedly say I'm very excited to see what God has in mind for just the two of us, and I completely trust His timing.

For some of the best advice I've ever heard on being single, look up Breakaway Ministries on iTunes, and listen to Ben Stuart's talk entitled "The Gift of Singleness" (it's free!). Really, all his talks are awesome, so check them all out!