Bad blessings?

Is it bad to want blessings?

Subconsciously, my answer would be "yes." How many times have we heard the ridiculous "prosperity gospel" that says we should expect blessings, even sometimes demand them? ("The Prayer of Jabez," anyone?)

I feel like the "prosperity gospel" and its polar opposite, the "radically live for Jesus" movement, have both made Christians feel guilty for wanting or receiving blessings. I feel the prosperity gospel and the radical movement have had the same unfortunate effect on Christians: Making us feel guilty when we "selfishly" hope for blessings.

To be clear, I'm not defining blessings in a strictly material sense. God can and sometimes does choose to bless us materially (see Solomon in 1 Kings 3:13 and Job in Job 42:10, 12-17), but we forget about the blessing of, say, peace of mind, or joy, or increased faith. Or maybe a new opportunity because we've been faithful in the small things (Luke 16:10).

There are blessings to being obedient, and I know I have somehow forgotten that. I've fallen into the "radical movement" camp of thought that says we should just stoically follow our God and be "warriors" of faith, standing silent and firm against temptation and attacks, never expecting it to be easy, and accepting the Christian life is full of purifying fire and difficulty with no reprieve, ever. You should follow God's laws for no other reason than to bring glory to Him--your own happiness and comfort will never be considered, and you're selfish and your "heart isn't in the right place" if you ever think it should be otherwise.

Christianity = Sleep on a bed made of stone with your teeth gritted, expecting to be woken up by a mocker with a flaming whip made of thorns and broken glass. Take the abuse silently, expect your reward to be a nod from Lieutenant General God, then go back to sleep on your stone pallet to wait for the next day for it to happen again. If you're lucky, maybe your mocking attacker will break down and repent due to your unwavering stoicism.

Sorry--a bit of hyperbole to make my point. I realize not everyone has this view, but it's what I've fallen into recently, and it took a phone call to wake me up.

I recently became convicted about something I was doing, and I decided listen and stop doing it. I was tempted, I overcame, and I had this wonderful sense of peace and calm because of it--I knew God was very happy and relieved that I had chosen the harder path. I realized He was blessing me with this peace that I hadn't felt in months, and I was happy just to bask in it.

But that same day I received a phone call from a potential client--the first I've had in my fledgling business--and I just felt like God was saying, "I'm blessing you with something you really want [a client] because you obeyed Me."

And it hit me: Why don't more Christians talk about the personal blessings that come from being obedient? I feel all I ever hear about is how we should be obedient because we're "supposed to" and so we'll be a "light to the world." Both of those reasons are wonderful and completely true, but sometimes it's hard feeling like you're just this robot who has no dreams or hopes, but is supposed to instead do something just because it's how we're "programmed."

I obeyed God, which in turn glorified Him, which is great and something I hope for. But it didn't stop there. Because of my obedience, He blessed me. I would've been happy just to have that blessing of peace, but I was blessed more (in this particular instance) with something else I've been hoping for.

For me, I've got to say I like being incentivized to obey more often with the promise of not just "You did the right thing. Yay you," but an actual blessing. And for me, that blessing can be something as simple as that peace and happiness I felt for knowing I obeyed God and made Him happy--He didn't have to add on that phone call, and I don't expect Him to do things like that every time. This kind of obedience feels a lot more happy, weightless and doable than the "Suck it up and just DO it, soldier!" kind.

I realize blessings don't always come right after obedience, and sometimes it's going to feel like I'm being pushed and tried even further. But I realized that our God is a God of blessings, and they do come out eventually, even if it's several years down the road, or even in the next life. But just knowing that they do has suddenly made obedience seem a lot easier, and my God a lot more friendly and loving again :).