An Ancient Work

Each month, the mission organization that is sending me to Tokyo this summer sends out something a Monthly Challenge, or a "MoChal" as they call it. January's MoChal is about accepting that, as a missionary, I am not "starting" the work of God in any person's life (either here or in Tokyo); I am joining into an ancient work that God started long before I even arrived. The second half of the MoChal is reflecting on the ancient work God put into place to lead me to Himself.

The verses they give include the story of Phillip and the Ethiopian (Acts 8:26-40), and the story of Peter and Cornelius (Acts 10:1-11:18). When I read these chapters, I was struck by the thought of how crucial it is to follow God's directions as quickly and thoroughly as possible. What if Peter hadn't accepted the vision's message, and insisted that all Gentiles were unclean? What if he hadn't gone to Cornelius' house? Cornelius and his family (who sound like they were all devout, practicing believers) might have never heard the Good News, and the Jews who protested Peter going inside Cornelius' house might have never had their hearts softened to sharing the gospel with Gentiles. All that could have happened (or could have not happened) if Peter had chosen to disobey.

God gave me an insight recently, and it was this:

When you talk with someone about Christ, you have no idea what your role in their life is going to be. You could be the one who plants the seed (tells them the basics), or the one who waters it (explains the details and answers their questions), or the one who harvests the plant (actually praying with them), or the one who processes the plant (guiding them as they begin their walk with Jesus). You really don't know where God is sending you in, but you must be content with the role you have been called to play.

So many Christians seem go straight for the "harvest" part, and in doing so they act in a way that seems unloving and insensitive to the person they are speaking to. It is far less destructive and far more constructive to take the time to listen to what a person is saying and asking about Jesus, and to try to figure out what your role in that person's life will be at that moment. Let the Holy Spirit guide you, and accept His direction and His words. Do not hinder the ancient work God began in that person by acting like you know exactly what needs to be said. Humble yourself and accept your role in the work He started in that person a long time ago, and be confident that He will continue that work even after you're gone.

As for the second half of the MoChal, I don't know how thoroughly I can do that right now (I'm a little pressed for time), so it might need to wait for another time, when I can lay out the details and marvel at the awesome journey that has led me to the point I'm currently at. I can already tell it's going to impress me :).

Eating the Wind

So school has started again, and as I'm realizing that I'm getting closer and closer to graduation, I find it interesting I'm hearing so many messages from many different sources that seem to be saying the same thing:

Spending your life in pursuit of pleasure and wealth ends in emptiness and discontent. Follow God's lead, and you will discover everything you were made for.

Forgive me if this post isn't especially well-written or doesn't make much sense (I didn't fall asleep until sometime after 3 a.m. last night, so my thoughts are sketchy at best), but since I'm sure others have wondered about their life's purpose, I felt like I should go ahead and try to write it out and revise it later, if necessary :).

As I was reading Ecclesiastes chapter 2 this morning, I happened to look down at one of the alternate translation notes. It was actually referring to Ecclesiastes 1:14, which reads, "I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind." (ESV Study Bible)

The note suggested an alternate translation to "striving after wind," which was "feeding on wind."

Both translations are great. The first properly conveys the futility of grasping after something that simply cannot be grasped, but to me, the second one presents a different but still meaningful illustration.

As a child (or adult...), did you ever open your mouth and try to "eat the wind" as a strong gust rushed past you? It was maybe a little exhilarating, and I remember thinking I was somehow "getting MORE air!" because there seemed to be so much, and I was inhaling it more fully and even eating it (I wasn't a dumb kid--I just had an active imagination :). In the end, of course, the air that was rushing past me was same amount of air that was always around me, but it felt different--like I was getting more, somehow.

In the same way, chasing after fame, wealth, and pleasure seem like the best way to receive more out of life, but in the end, no matter how much you amass, these things are empty and do not sustain. It's like attempting to gulp down that huge gust of wind--it feels like you're getting more and you'll be better for it, but it's only an exhilarating feeling. In the end, you find you haven't truly gained anything.

Is it worthwhile to spend your life chasing after a temporary exhilaration that does not fulfill, rather than the breathless excitement from following what God has made you for?

P.S. Once again, Ben Stuart has an awesome podcast on this exact topic called "Whose Kingdom Come?" Look up Breakaway Ministries on iTunes and have a listen! :)

Keep Running

School starts again today, and I only have 25 minutes to write, so this is going to be quick. Please excuse any grammatical errors or poorly written sentences :).

I've been reading in Galations for a couple of days now, and while I've had several insights through reading, I figured this one was maybe one of the more important ones to discuss, especially as I'm starting this new semester. The verse is simple but powerful:

"You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?" - Gal. 5:7 (ESV Study Bible)

Of course, in this context, Paul is speaking to the Galations who began believing they needed to follow the old Mosaic law in order to be justified, instead of relying upon faith in Christ. However, in my particular situation as a college student, it has another meaning: What am I allowing in my life to hinder me from completely pursuing holiness?

It's a difficult thought to process, because you realize how much you might be partaking in something that isn't good for you, but you've gotten used to it and even like it, and would hate to give it up. As I'm preparing for my mission trip this summer (Yes, good news: I was accepted and I am FOR SURE going :) I can already sense God is going to be doing some heavy-duty preparation in my heart, which probably means there will be some overhaul in my life--stuff I might not like. But if it means I can be used for a greater purpose, then why would I run after the small excitement that partaking in sin offers? Can it truly compare with what God offers to people who seek righteousness first?

The trickiest part will be making sure I don't fall into my old trap: legalism. I have a propensity toward over-analyzing things (surprise, right?), and in an honest desire to do what is good and pleasing to God, I begin to analyze my heart and look for "sin" that I can remove, instead of waiting on Him to seek it out for me and convict me of it. I'm not the Holy Spirit; I can't find and correct things in my heart. I have to wait on His conviction, and then I can be sure I'm not falling into the old trap of legalism.

Here's hoping I will keep running this semester, and won't be hindered by either old sins or legalism.

The You Diet

Yesterday, I was reading some article on the internet, and happened to look over at the "Links" portion of the page, and I saw another article entitled "Dr. Oz: The Two-Week YOU Diet." I didn't really think about it--I own one of Dr. Oz's YOU books (and I watch Oprah...don't judge me!), so I knew what the poorly worded title was referring to, but since it was so poorly worded, it helped me think of something:

What if everyone did take a two-week diet from self, and instead donated that time to give and help others?

Think about it. What if we planned two weeks where we helped with some different organization every day? What if we raised money for a cause, visited those in nursing homes, comforted widows, cleaned up a local park, fed the homeless, honored veterans, or mentored a child? The need for volunteers is great and endless--there are a myriad of worthwhile opportunities out there.

I remember hearing a sermon preached by Ben Stuart at Breakaway (seriously, look up the Breakaway Ministries podcasts on iTunes--they're fantastic), where Ben brought up the excellent point that so many of us spend our days entertaining ourselves, and we envision our lives as always being in pursuit of comfort and entertainment until the day we die.

That was a wake-up call for me. Never before had I realized how self-centered my dreams for my life after college were, and I saw how that kind of self-serving lifestyle would ultimately lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Is it OK to take time out for yourself to relax and recharge? Absolutely. Even the Almighty have to unwind! (Gen. 2:2, Luke 6:12) But the constant "self time" I was planning isn't what God wants for me, and must be put back in its proper place, with a proper balance.

Can you imagine the tremendous good that could come from even just 100 individuals committing to two weeks of daily service? What if there were thousands of people willing to commit? There could be massive changes in so many areas of need.

I haven't really been talking a lot about donating money, but I will close with this quasi-quote (this isn't exactly what was said, but it's very, very close):

"My goal for each of you is that, at the end of your life, you will have an empty bank account and a full funeral." - Ben Stuart ("God, Money, and the Last Days")

When I die, I hope my funeral will be filled with the people whose lives have been positively impacted by God working through me, and I will have used the body He has given me for all the tasks He called me to.

And, like Ben, I hope the same for you.

Don't worry, be happy.

At my university, no matter what your major is, you're required to take two business calculus classes. As is typical of most writer-types, I'm not exactly gifted in the math arena, so I wasn't thrilled by the prospect of selling my soul to the despotic Math God for several weeks. To make matters worse, by "freak" chance I was forced to take it at my university instead of at a community college, therefore increasing the difficulty level a hundredfold.

"Freak," as you may have noticed, is in quotation marks, indicating a hidden, potentially facetious use of the word. Well, I'll just go ahead and kill the suspense--I DON'T think it was a freak chance. In retrospect, I see a stream of events carefully orchestrated by a Higher Power, which had the sole purpose of ultimately culminating in this miraculous spiritual insight:


"Lindsey, you worry too much. Stop it."


Earthquakes! Explosions! Thunderclaps! Other terms indicating a world-rocking epiphany! What was He saying? That He's the God of the universe, and I need to quit pretending I gain some sort of control by worrying? Shocking!

In all seriousness, it was a little more in-depth than that. The lesson He taught me through the pain (see previous post entitled "The Crucible of Pain") of taking this math class completely changed my views on worry.

Before this summer, I never really thought of worry as being a sin. In my mind, if you were worried about something, it showed you cared, and you were likely to do better at whatever you were attempting because you worried about it. Big test coming up? Push the panic button and get studying! If you're not worried, you probably won't study hard enough!

I'm sure some of you are already protesting this. "But Lindsey, if you don't have SOME amount of worry, you probably really won't do well on a test!"

Don't get terms confused. I'm talking about learning not to worry, not about learning not to care. "Worry" implies to me a sense of panic, and a feeling that you could somehow control the outcome of events if you just try hard enough. At the opposite end of the spectrum is "not caring." To me, this term implies laziness, irresponsibility, and an expectation that things should simply be handed to you.

Neither of these attitudes are correct. As I learned this summer, what we need is a balanced attitude that says, "I will be faithful with what I have been given (see Matt. 25:14-30 for a similar idea), but I will trust that the Lord will ultimately decide what the outcome of my best work will be. Therefore, why should I worry?"

As I have personally experienced since being in college, you can absolutely work your butt off to do well on a test, finish a project on time, etc., and still make a bad grade. There have been many times where I thought, "How could that be? I gave it my all! How could I still have made that lesser grade?"

I believe it's because God's ultimate concern isn't ensuring I receive high grades; rather, He is mainly (I could argue "only") concerned about my spiritual development.

I received this insight about halfway through the summer semester, after He led me to read a paragraph out of Richard Foster's Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home. I realized I was so concerned about maintaining my GPA and not appearing stupid for failing a class that I had allowed the sin of worry to dominate my life. God showed me that, in my quest for material things, I was sacrificing our relationship and placing my faith in my personal efforts, when He was the One who would ultimately decide the outcome.

From that moment on, every time I started to feel anxiety begin to creep back in, I would think, "Is this sin really worth hurting my relationship with God?" The answer was always no, of course, and I continued to work, resting assured that all He called me to do was be faithful with the task He set before me, and the ultimate outcome was in the hands of a caring Father who wants the best for me, and who loves me enough to place my spiritual growth at the forefront, even when that means I must experience pain at times.

"And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys." - Luke 12:25-34 (ESV Study Bible), italics mine.

Don't let the sin of worry hinder your chasing after Him and His kingdom, the pursuit of which calls us to live a life in service and sacrifice to others; the antithesis of worrying about your personal success and worldly gains.

This made me laugh...

No time for an actual post today, but I will share this. You may have already seen it, but I thought it was funny:

Bible In a Minute

Enjoy! :)

Auld Lang Syne

It's New Years Day, so of course I feel obligated to reflect on what I've been doing and where I'm going in my life. However, feel free to skip over this post if you really don't care to read my musings over my personal life and future--I won't blame you.

If you do decide to read this, I'll try my best to make my personal reflections generally applicable to all, so maybe someone can derive some benefit from me indulging in a narcissistic moment.

So here I am, a junior in college, and it's beginning to sink in: Wow. I'll have to get a job and be on my own soon. I've always had dreams and ambitions for my life, but really, what do those look like? Yes, I want to be a self-employed writer who lives in the country, and I have some other vague ideas of owning a few small businesses, but how do I get there? Can I really make a living doing this? What if I happen to be married by then? And then kids? What am I truly aiming and wishing for here?

And who am I working to please? Myself, others, or God? When I consider the life I'm dreaming of, I think it'll suit me very well, but there's so much about it that might seem "weird" to other people. Will I allow other people's opinions to dissuade me from what I truly want?

Then there's the question of whether what I'm desiring for my life is what God is desiring for my life. Many years ago, I gave my life to Him, and told Him to do with it as He saw fit. I meant it then, and I still mean it. But what happens when my personal dreams conflict with what He's planning?

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." - Eph. 3:20-21 (ESV Study Bible)

That first part, "who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think," is maybe something I should keep in mind as I plan my next step after graduation. Do I know all the opportunities that exist? Is the life I'm dreaming of truly what I want? How do I know He hasn't planned something better?

The second part, "according to the power at work within us," reminds me to keep growing and developing in my relationship with Him. Who knows what amazing adventures He has planned for me, as long as I continue to develop my faith and obedience? What kind of life could He reveal to me that is infinitely beyond my personal dreams, due to my being a "faithful servant"? I need to remember that God knows (better than I do) what He has crafted in me, and will take into account my talents, values, and spiritual maturity level before He calls me to the life He envisions for me. There's no reason to think He's planning something miserable or boring.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." - Prov. 16:9 (ESV Study Bible)

So many people worry they'll make plans that are outside God's will for their lives. Consequently, they're so crippled by their fears that they fail to ever take any action. But as for me, I think I'll steer out into the sea with my personal plans, with the sails down and a loose grip on the tiller, ready for my course to be shifted by God-sent winds.